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It’s been months of planning ahead, looking toward the future and it’s been with moments of great momentum and then the slog that comes with forever waiting for what’s next. Can anyone ever say they’re completely ready for a big life change? We forever plan and try and get life in order but then at some point you just have to take a leap of faith.
Over the last year I have found myself on multiple occasions sitting on the floor surrounded by my belongings and carefully sorting and sifting as I try and evaluate everything I own. I’m not a minimalist, but perhaps an aspiring one. If I’m going to move halfway across the world, I only want to take the best and my favourites forward and focus on feeling good. This is probably a good place to start.
If I paint my perfect future I want more simplicity. One thing I love about France is the slow living. Meals can last for hours, Sunday afternoons filled with family walks or cycling with friends or wandering the antique market under the “halle” just to see what has been found in someones attic. There is beauty, and lots of it, all around. There is something attractive here that I love.
But if I look at how I’ve been feeling, I’ve been feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and physically and mentally cluttered. Thankfully I feel like I’m rounding a corner on that one but it’s fair to say it’s been my experience. It’s hard to look into the future and not entirely know what it’ll look like. I, like most of you I expect, like to know what I’m getting into.
I doubt I’m the only one but I put a lot of weight into my sense of “contribution.” This might not always be monetary, though sometimes it is, but sometimes in my job, in feeling like I’m giving enough effort and I’m pulling my weight. I’m hard on myself and I always have been. The thing about the future is that I won’t have a job to fall back on or to distract me because I won’t be allowed to work right away. I have been wanting to start a business here and hit the ground running but even that has proven to be difficult for the time being. Not impossible, just not right now.
So I have to simplify. For me, it means cutting out the excess. It means starting out my day not looking into a huge closet full of things that I half like but instead having paired it down to only that which I love, which feel great on my skin the rest has been shipped off to the thrift shop. It means stepping into clothes with a little more confidence. It has also been enjoying what I’ve kept in my kitchen. I know already this is a place I get such a sense of renewal from so filling it with nice wine glasses and “forever” pots and pans has been a worthy investment. I love stepping into this space and I know that it’ll be important on those days where I question how it’ll all come together.
I hope to build a bright future. I’m not entirely starting from the ground up, but almost. For this season, instead of just sitting around at home I have already signed up for a photo class so I can indulge my need to create, and I hope to add a wine course as well. If I can’t work, at least I can learn and if nothing else I’ve been learning that I want to meet these challenges with a healthy frame of mind. I’m convinced that belief is the first step to achieving. A little leg work couldn’t hurt either.
I’d love to hear about your experiences, how you’ve overcome/are overcoming challenges in your career, in your life and finding your way. I’m pretty sure we could all use a little motivation or perhaps just a good recipe 😉
