A few hours ago I nearly wrote of my discouragement. It seemed fitting since it’s only days away from my moving and here I am begging the answer to the never-ending question, “so where are you moving to at the end of the month?”
It’s only been in this new year I’ve had faith enough to just step out and take leaps. I like things more calculated than this and I want to know my footing is sure before I go forward but both times I’ve moved this year I knew I couldn’t just sit and wait for it to happen I had to commit and then wait so both times I did just that.
I’ve had a bit of peace about it both times, but there are always moment of anxiety too because I’m human and this way of living is a tad crazy. But what I’ve learned most this year is that I’m free to just do as I need to do and to come into myself and to trust that everything is going to be okay. My attitude a few hours ago kinda stunk, if I’m honest, but I’m reminded again that I did this for a reason! This afternoon I realized I hadn’t prayed about my frustration and about clearly getting a place so I let off probably one of the shortest prayers ever, but I prayed and that’s the point. I knew it would come together and then I went to my class! I just love Tuesday nights! I feel a little more alive on the inside. Most days I’m realizing that on the outside I look more like me, I started dressing like me and now it’s a matter of being able to pursue things that get my mind barreling forward into the future of who I am and that is exciting. Really exciting. Did you hear me? EXCITING! So back to me being at class… I had put my phone in my bag where I couldn’t see it and be distracted and so when the class was over and I’d finished chatting Wilson and I were heading out the door I checked my phone and there was a message. Not only do I have a place to move into at the end of the month but they offered the place for a better deal than I had ASKED for (yeah – ASKED – as in I suggested a dollar figure and they decided on better deal.) Ummm… seriously? I left class ecstatic. I think Wilson and I were practically buzzing in the car. I felt like I’d asked for a big favor earlier this week about my living situation which I knew was unlikely but even it wasn’t as good a deal as this but there was a plan and it is AMAZING. Now I just have to pack. Oh brother, I hate packing but at least I know I’m packing up with a place to go!
So while a few hours ago I was discouraged and feeling like I was running and going nowhere. I feel like I can breath a sigh of relief because even though I’m in transition, it’s time to catch my breath and get ready for the biggest leap of all!