I’ve been in it for just over two weeks. The exhaustion runs deep and proof comes in the form of two separate tumblings down the stairs complete with blackened knee-caps, a wardrobe malfunction, and a bruise on my forehead from doing a security search in an aircraft in the hangar. I’ve never fallen down stairs but somehow I’ve managed to do it twice in one week. Awesome. With that said, it has been a slightly more manageable pace these last few days and it’s been really great to have time to watch a film, write an update and think about something other than just cramming my brain full of facts for the next exam.
I’ll admit that it’s been a bit rough… I intend to give Calgary a greater chance than just a two week stint but it’s strange living here. My heart is still very much tethered to France and feeling more at peace, happy and the sense of being cozy enough to call it home. I’m lucky to have great co-workers and Amy and Aaron here to ease things but I can’t help but fear that in being here, I’m giving up something else, something I really want to have courage to go after. I know this is a season, one I have to endure and not every day will feel hard or difficult but it’s a time for me to gain some skills, some cash and prepare for whatever I choose to do next. I also need to remind myself, incessantly, it’s not so much worrying about tomorrow but making sure you make the right choices with what’s in front of you since the future will come when it’s ready and it can’t be rushed.
It also seems worth noting that I have a real fear that I’ll get bored after the initial challenge is over.
On the other hand, maybe I ought to mention a few things I’m actually excited about.
-Having a place to call my own again and starting from scratch now that most of what I owned was sold pre-France
-Making new friends
-Seeing new places I probably never would have made a point of visiting without this job
-Testing out a new city, even if at times it scares the hell out of me here…
(photo above of one of the “cabin trainers” at work where we practice emergency drills)