“ps: make sure you get over your sickness by relaxing HUMAN style, not Christina style. ok?”

I chuckled to myself for a brief moment and then I think I caught myself midway through only to realize this was anything but a joke. She was so right, as one of my best friends she is all too aware that as hard as my body will fight to push on the breaks, I can’t seem to take my foot off the gas.

As I re-read it a few times I realized just how exhausted I really was and how this seemingly small cough turned into an upper respiratory tract infection snowballing into an inner ear infection sending me to the hospital where I was hooked up to an IV just last Saturday morning until 5am. Yesterday while it had its high points was also remarkably heavy. Having a rough day at work had me questioning if my efforts were even being recognized and if I’d find myself starting over before really getting off the ground. Nicole and Dan, who are both members of my ground school class would be coming over in the evening so we could make meals and swap, giving ourselves a little extra rest for these last few days where we need to push through. As much as I wanted to put the day behind me, it bubbled over and so I shared my frustrations as we cooked and it was nice to know that everything that had happened during the day was just as mysterious and troublesome to them as it was to me. After three meals, many containers filled with food and the minute hand spinning around the clock a few times over we called it a night. Worried I’d completed the wrong assignment a few days earlier, I studied some more before finally getting to bed sometime after 10 and pushing myself, yet again, beyond my limits. The defeat I felt had me wondering if I’d ever get over this bloody cold.

I just couldn’t get the words out of my head “relax HUMAN style, not Christina style.” so as I left the campus today I drove home thanking God for bringing me here, putting this all together and that even though yesterday had been hard, it could help me move forward if only I allow it to. I realized that I needed that quiet time on the way home and the half hour drive just wouldn’t be enough. Before pulling into the garage I swapped out my new “Alberta boots” in the parking lot of Sobeys back to some heels and headed in to buy a few essentials. Baking soda and Epsom salts. “Baking soda?” you might ask. I may be sick, but regardless of how sick, I still won’t bathe in a dirty tub. Some habits, die hard. So the moment I walked into the house I went upstairs and proceeded to clean the bathtub, pour myself the smallest glass of wine and I filled the tub with lavender and epsom salts and put my ears under the water breathing in and out as deeply as I could for what felt like ages. While in the tub I realized that even this just wouldn’t be enough so after drying off, I put on my PJs and lay in bed for a 45 minute nap and after this, I fully intend to relax on the sofa and watch a half hour of scintillating food related television. Tomorrow and all through the weekend I can study, but tonight, I need to just feel better I need to do little so my body can heal much. Apparently sometimes you just need a blunt reminder of who you’ve always been and how, today, you just might need to change. And so I toast this evening by heartily proclaiming “To your (or in this case, my) health” “Santé”

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