nuit indienne

I could feel everything sink low when I realized I hadn’t saved a copy of what I wrote up yesterday. Such is life I suppose.
Last week I heard it said, “By choosing one thing, you intentionally choose not to do something else.” It hit close to home knowing that I’ve not be honoring my time very well these days. Not making a plan for myself and then letting things move from there but instead letting other plans dictate how I spend time so these last few days have been different for me because I kept that in mind. It was really nice to be able to allow myself the freedom to decide what I needed first and foremost. At some point I sort of lifted my hands of the responsibility and just let it hang in the air and dictate my life.

But while I did learn something fairly essential to life, especially the life I keep longing for in France, you know, the one where things are more simplified where I get to learn more about myself and the world around me and understanding needs a bit better. Anyways, Saturday night Maia had her birthday party and I feel pretty confident I often miss them and I thought this year would be no exception. I first expected I’d be on the island, then I thought I’d be at the Eastside Culture Crawl in Vancouver and then it just kept falling through and I found myself contemplating whether I’d make my way to Abbotsford or not… It sounds terrible, I know, but I wasn’t looking forward to a big crowd this week of people I half-know. I’m sure you know the feeling. When there’s a large crowd of people you don’t know you can largely avoid and contact and when it’s a crowd of people you know well the conversation is natural and goes beyond the surface but it’s those groups you know a part of and the other you don’t know well at all beyond a name that makes it difficult because all of a sudden you’re lost in the sea of small talk. Somehow or other people hear that I’m moving to France and then I get a load of other questions followed by “we should get together at some point, have coffee.” I’ve got so many great friends I barely see that I want to catch up with that it’s hard to imagine making all new friends right before I go. It sounds incredibly selfish but I can’t help but feel it anyways. I miss so many of my friends in the city and know I won’t have that many opportunities to see them before I board a plane and I want to make sure I get as many of those friends in. It even influenced my decisions for this evening where I cut out of an obligation with a group knowing that I didn’t HAVE to be there. It’s a weekly get together and frankly right now it felt more like one more evening filled up when I really need to think about relaxing and re-assessing what I can handle and what I need and how I’m spending my time.

Wow… I really ventured away from Maia’s birthday… So her birthday was in Abbotsford and I ended up having fun. Jen joined me for the evening and we drove out to the middle of the sticks where her boyfriends family has a barn and she threw and Indian themed birthday in the upper part of the barn. Only a few people donned Indian saris but there was plenty of music and food to make up for it. Being in a barn it was also rather chilly but thankfully someone made mass amounts of homebrewed chai, which is always good in my books and kept me from the brutal cold. Among other things we danced. I need more dancing in my life.