méditant

Another week begins.

I’ve finally begun to settle in to this new normal where I work three days and rest for four. Well… okay I’m not really resting, but I’m slowing down – a bit.

When I get into work I notice there’s little here for me. My inbox isn’t really hopping with things to do and that always worries me. My job description seems to have changed a considerable amount but the ways in which it has changed have been great. It’s more event planning and office managing you could say which is convenient so I don’t have as much to catch up on Tuesday mornings.

But as I am disenchanted with having to come in to my present job, I’m still thankful to have an income at all, I wrote back to the site director in France this morning giving her a little more information about me and what I enjoy doing and ways in which I’d like to help but also just stating that I am ready and willing to participate in whatever they are doing.

The more I think about it, the more I’d like to work in documenting the site, bringing an awareness to their projects, hosting guests and drawing an interest to everything they do. I can’t say I’ll be doing these things for certain but it would be nice to sort of create a position that gives me the experiences in life I want, in conjunction with other things I know nothing about. A balance of sorts of learning something I want to know, and learning things about the world around me. Having the opportunity to do PR, event planning etc all sound delightful to me. I know that I’ll have to tread lightly and ensure that I don’t just barrel over the organization and things they already have in place but I like to generate excitement or enthusiasm about things so being able to do that for someone as part of a job description would be great.

So I suppose I should back up a bit… Not having had any photo editing capabilities really took me away from the blog but now that I have it all back up and running, thanks to my dad, I can carry on!

This weekend I had some wine and cheese with friends. It wasn’t really a bon voyage so much as selling off my goods and having a reason for tasty treats!

I know this might sound crazy but sometimes I get worried I can’t host a crowd. I’m not saying I can’t plan a party I just mean that being a host in my own house, I’m so worried about how everyone else is doing that I hope I’ve done a decent enough job facilitating. I’m learning, however, that you can’t make people want to talk to one another per se and my job is to create an atmosphere and let the rest happen. I’m confident it’s a skill I can continue to grow in. When it’s an event for another purpose, and organization or what have you, it seems more impersonal and less stressful, or so I see it. Weird, I know, after having said I want to do that kind of job in France… or the fact that I do it reasonably often. I’m a bit of a self analyzer, if you hadn’t already realized it. Regardless, it went well. With my computer out of commission Megan supplied some French music for the evening so that was a life saver! I’ll have to remember to get her playlist for the train trip across Canada to prep myself for the goodness that awaits!

After a whirlwind evening and an impromptu clothing swap Wilson, Cheri, Janelle and I were going to have a sleepover but with the beautiful fog having rolled in to the valley we couldn’t help but bundle ourselves up at 2 in the morning for a quick photo shoot. However contrived the photos, I couldn’t care less. It was cold and we were happy. I’m not sure it’s possible to “act natural” when you’re that frigid. I thought by this point in my life I’d think sleepovers were a thing of the past but you know. I love them! I don’t feel too old. It brings you to life to be able to laugh late at night and crash on the floor in your sleeping bag. Sometimes it’s good for the soul.

I think this year, if anything, has reminded me that I can go back and experience so many things I missed out on earlier in life while I was working full time and also attending school full time. So now the world is my oyster and I basking in it! If it means a sleepover then so be it!

This isn’t to say I feel like the beacon of youth, I look in the mirror and for the first time in my life I feel older. It’s okay though. I also feel more confident and more beautiful than I ever remember feeling. It’s not about just the clothes or my size but that I know myself more. My skin might look a little weathered and some days you can read my year on my face BUT deep down there’s peace and quietness that is good and life giving.

Saturday afternoon I went to the harvest festival at A Rocha in Surrey and I met this man who seemed to have a similar view on life and a similar kind of humor. It’s rare that I find someone with similar humor so I was in stitches, which usually I’d welcome except I had to go to the bathroom SO bad. I know, too much information but surely you’ve been there? Please tell me you’ve been there… Anyways it was nice because he was probably a good 10 years older than me and was a believer in actively living instead of sitting back watching time pass. I told him and his wife to call me some time. They seem like great people and I have no objections to bringing more people into my life even though I’m leaving soon! Another friend of mine in the conversation was commenting on her photos of the site having been really beautiful. I think she did the promotional work there and so it’d be nice to pick her brain on photography perhaps. She was running after the kids a little bit so I didn’t get quite as much face time with her but I would imagine they’re two peas in a pod.

Other than that, I had fresh apple cider, went on a hayride, drank chai tea and met as many people as I could to make myself feel a part of the group and truly it felt warm and welcoming and I am excited to join a chapter with them so, so soon.